As I sat in an apartment on the Upper East Side of New York City last weekend, I began to understand that I need a new approach as I unravel this past year. With Gaza reeling in the aftermath of war, I would be seething in anger at moments, but proud to hold back emotion at others. Something was clearly wrong and I had been praying for a breakthrough. Two have come.
The first was a sermon by R.J. (a FOCUS alum) in his house-church in NYC. As he spoke on suffering, I realized that I need boldness to step into the depths of the pain I saw and take off much of the Palestinian versus Israeli lens which has clouded my vision, and see how Christ speaks to the human suffering I saw and experienced. Easier said than done. However, this encouragement was vital. It is the way out.
Secondly, I'm befriending an Israeli. She's stood at interesting crossroads and lives a story of redemption. Born in communist U.S.S.R., lived in Israel; a Jew, became a Christian at Yale, now Eastern Orthodox. She entered the threshold of my homegroup two weeks ago and I held back a gasp - one of relief that at present someone in the room could understand eastern orthodoxy (a road my family is traveling), and secondly that God could coordinate something so ghastly ironic. This homegroup - such a place of healing for me from my experiences abroad now embraces someone who's political persuasion deep down contains something vastly different from my own.
It seems that God is teaching me something.
None of this is easy, but if I am to take the words of Scripture seriously, the words which say of Christ, he was "a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering," (Is 53:3) - then I know I am steered rightly, and I will learn much by traveling this way.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Some thoughts from a Friend who also lived in Birzeit
A friend of mine was in Birzeit this past semester doing, in essence, the same kind of work I was doing a year ago. We maintain correspondance to encourage one another and to keep one another adrift of how our dear friends are doing there.
Here is a piece she recently wrote in response to the happenings in Gaza and Israel.
T: "Why is Israel bombing Gaza?! Why isn't the US saying ANYTHING?! What is going to happen? Are people going to sustain their response until Israel stops or are thing simply going to return to apathy and anger? When will Israel stop, when everyone in Gaza is dead? What difference will Obama make? What will happen in Israel and Palestin's elections? Why do people hate? Who does Livni think she is? In fact, who does Rice think she is? Where did she get her information? What good will the protests accross the world do? What is going to happen?"
Y: "I don't know."
Y: "We are the ones who are trying to make a difference! What does it mean that all I can think of is going up to one of the Israelis or Americans or reporters and smacking them accross the face?! I mean seriously, we're the ones who can speak to all sides, but what can we do when no one is listening!?!"
T: "One of the hardest things for me in watching the news is that I know that my people in the States aren't seeing the same things I'm seeing. Somehow their image of the Middle East is so scewed that they don't see the injustice going on, they don't see how their tax-dollars and moral support is contributing to mass murder. Somehow they don't see Gaza suffering, they just see Israeli fear. Somehow they don't see Palestinians, they just see terrorists."
T: "I feel a hatred that I've kept bottled up inside of me for so long. What can I do when I hear that three children from one family were killed? I mean seriously, half of Gaza is under the age of 14 and it is the most densely populated land-masses in the world...when you bomb there, you end up bombing children. It's sick how it's being justified. But despite this, I don't believe in violence. I don't want this to be an anger rant from another Arab. I want to communicate that as frustrated as I am, I believe things can change. And those changes are not going to come by burning an American flag or an Israeli flag or by throwing rocks. Im frustrated at both sides. I understand that Hamas is angry and wants to retaliate but I just want to say: DO NOT call for suicide terror! I will not agree with that. No. At the same time, I can't preach peace when in my own heart there is so much hatred. I have to deal with that before I can influence other people. Non-violence needs to be something that you live and breath, and right now it's not something that I can live and breathe."
T: "There are so many things standing in our way. The obstacles are seemingly insurmountable. From disunity among both the Israeli and Palestinian non-violence movements, factionalism, the media, the US, Christian Zionism...AAAH. Where do we even begin?"
V: "I feel so powerless. I can't do anything about what's going on!"
T: "Yes you can, don't rob yourself of that. In a world that is rapidly spirling into darkness, hatred, and war, you can speak into that and show people how to love!"
Y: "Well, ok. I know that I can do some things, but I can't do the one thing I want to."
T: "What's that?"
Y: "Make the bombing stop."
T: "Yeah."
Y: (In response to my question: If you could communicate one thing to my American friends, what would it be?)"If I knew what it would take to stop the killing, I would beg Americans to do it. I would say write to your President, but that doesn't help. Do you call for a boycott? What do you boycott? You can tell people in the Middle East to boycott the American products...but what will that do??! You can write your your Senators but, again, what will that do?! If you could demonstrate, that would be great, but be careful and don't do it out of hate. Protest, demonstrate, DO something. But I'm not sure if anything will actually make a difference. I guess the most important thing I would tell you is to educate yourself, watch the news from different perspectives, and evalute it...imagine people in the statistics, imagine yourself there. I'm not going to tell you which side to go on but I want you to educate yourselves and make your own decision...and then DO something. The entire world is watching this and the entire world is frustrated but they can't make a difference. Africa's doing stuff, Asia is doing stuff, Russia is doing stuff (People are getting arrested in RUSSIA for us!)...but will any of it come to anything? I don't know. But again, I don't want to tell you what side to take. Just educate yourself. And care.
T: "It's not even about sides. I hate using that word because, well, I'm on people's side. No, actually, I'm on God's side. Whatever that means."
Most of the time I can't even articulate a question. The hole inside of my chest is so painful that all I can utter is a strangled cry of frustration. What else is there to say? When it's the end of the day and bombs are still falling, people are still crying, and the Palestinians in Gaza are still not living life the way it's meant to be lived, what else is there to say? How do we live into the answer when the questions are so blastedly painful?
I made tea with a friend this evening. She stood in the middle of her kitchen, closed her eyes, and spoke through clenched teeth: "I can't do anything." I responded, calmly, "pray." She ignored me and rationally, carefully, went through all of the reasons she is helpless, powerless, and, therefore, hopeless. I repeatedly uttered the calm refrain: "pray." This is a hard word. It seems heartless and can often betray apathy, condescension, dismissal, and a clear lack of action. But it can also be a freeing word because prayer (or rather, contemplation) frees us to live into the reality of the Kingdom of God. Surrendering to God the things of the world frees us to actually love the world instead of be enslaved by it. Accepting God's love allows us to be freed from the guilt of having failed to love as we ought to of and to be empowered to love with a love that is not our own. If I could speak one word into people's lives, especially during this time of darkness, I would say "pray."
"When we pay careful attention to the loving presence of God, the suffering to which we might be led will never darken our hearts or paralyze our movements... When we are led by love instead of driven by fear, we can enter the places of greatest darkness and pain and experience in a unique way the power of God's care. Jesus' final words to Peter are the strongest affirmation of this truth. After having asked Peter three times, 'Do you love me?' and after having been assured three times by Peter of his love, Jesus said, 'When you grow old you will stretch out your hands, and somebody else will put a belt around you and take you where you would rather not go' (John 21:18). Although Peter did not desire it, he was led to the cross as Jesus was. But because it was love and not fear that led him there, the cross was no longer a sign of defeat, but a sign of victory" (Nouwen, Compassion).
This passage speaks of a world we have entered into--a world of darkness--but it also provides us with something to say and something to do when words and actions betray their meangingless. When we can no longer do anything or say anything productive or useful, when we come to the end of ourselves, when we can do nothing but scream, nothing but clench our fist in hopeless despair...all we need to do is look up and whisper, "Yes, I love you." This is enough. Because there is a God who is bent tenderly over the broken world, gently, powerfully, loving it.
The world is shifting. And it's a hard thing to see God's love. Especially when we look at what's going on in places like Gaza (and the DRC, Sri Lanka, Pakistan, Iraq...etc.). But it's there. I promise. All you need to do is respond to it. Love God's people with the love He's given to you. Allow His freedom to free you from worldly things like "security," "vengence," "terrorism," and "fear." Read the news, watch the images, and pray for the people of Israel, the West Bank, and Gaza, who are in desperate need of people to rise up and care. Do what you can to stop the violence.
Here is a piece she recently wrote in response to the happenings in Gaza and Israel.
T: "Why is Israel bombing Gaza?! Why isn't the US saying ANYTHING?! What is going to happen? Are people going to sustain their response until Israel stops or are thing simply going to return to apathy and anger? When will Israel stop, when everyone in Gaza is dead? What difference will Obama make? What will happen in Israel and Palestin's elections? Why do people hate? Who does Livni think she is? In fact, who does Rice think she is? Where did she get her information? What good will the protests accross the world do? What is going to happen?"
Y: "I don't know."
Y: "We are the ones who are trying to make a difference! What does it mean that all I can think of is going up to one of the Israelis or Americans or reporters and smacking them accross the face?! I mean seriously, we're the ones who can speak to all sides, but what can we do when no one is listening!?!"
T: "One of the hardest things for me in watching the news is that I know that my people in the States aren't seeing the same things I'm seeing. Somehow their image of the Middle East is so scewed that they don't see the injustice going on, they don't see how their tax-dollars and moral support is contributing to mass murder. Somehow they don't see Gaza suffering, they just see Israeli fear. Somehow they don't see Palestinians, they just see terrorists."
T: "I feel a hatred that I've kept bottled up inside of me for so long. What can I do when I hear that three children from one family were killed? I mean seriously, half of Gaza is under the age of 14 and it is the most densely populated land-masses in the world...when you bomb there, you end up bombing children. It's sick how it's being justified. But despite this, I don't believe in violence. I don't want this to be an anger rant from another Arab. I want to communicate that as frustrated as I am, I believe things can change. And those changes are not going to come by burning an American flag or an Israeli flag or by throwing rocks. Im frustrated at both sides. I understand that Hamas is angry and wants to retaliate but I just want to say: DO NOT call for suicide terror! I will not agree with that. No. At the same time, I can't preach peace when in my own heart there is so much hatred. I have to deal with that before I can influence other people. Non-violence needs to be something that you live and breath, and right now it's not something that I can live and breathe."
T: "There are so many things standing in our way. The obstacles are seemingly insurmountable. From disunity among both the Israeli and Palestinian non-violence movements, factionalism, the media, the US, Christian Zionism...AAAH. Where do we even begin?"
V: "I feel so powerless. I can't do anything about what's going on!"
T: "Yes you can, don't rob yourself of that. In a world that is rapidly spirling into darkness, hatred, and war, you can speak into that and show people how to love!"
Y: "Well, ok. I know that I can do some things, but I can't do the one thing I want to."
T: "What's that?"
Y: "Make the bombing stop."
T: "Yeah."
Y: (In response to my question: If you could communicate one thing to my American friends, what would it be?)"If I knew what it would take to stop the killing, I would beg Americans to do it. I would say write to your President, but that doesn't help. Do you call for a boycott? What do you boycott? You can tell people in the Middle East to boycott the American products...but what will that do??! You can write your your Senators but, again, what will that do?! If you could demonstrate, that would be great, but be careful and don't do it out of hate. Protest, demonstrate, DO something. But I'm not sure if anything will actually make a difference. I guess the most important thing I would tell you is to educate yourself, watch the news from different perspectives, and evalute it...imagine people in the statistics, imagine yourself there. I'm not going to tell you which side to go on but I want you to educate yourselves and make your own decision...and then DO something. The entire world is watching this and the entire world is frustrated but they can't make a difference. Africa's doing stuff, Asia is doing stuff, Russia is doing stuff (People are getting arrested in RUSSIA for us!)...but will any of it come to anything? I don't know. But again, I don't want to tell you what side to take. Just educate yourself. And care.
T: "It's not even about sides. I hate using that word because, well, I'm on people's side. No, actually, I'm on God's side. Whatever that means."
Most of the time I can't even articulate a question. The hole inside of my chest is so painful that all I can utter is a strangled cry of frustration. What else is there to say? When it's the end of the day and bombs are still falling, people are still crying, and the Palestinians in Gaza are still not living life the way it's meant to be lived, what else is there to say? How do we live into the answer when the questions are so blastedly painful?
I made tea with a friend this evening. She stood in the middle of her kitchen, closed her eyes, and spoke through clenched teeth: "I can't do anything." I responded, calmly, "pray." She ignored me and rationally, carefully, went through all of the reasons she is helpless, powerless, and, therefore, hopeless. I repeatedly uttered the calm refrain: "pray." This is a hard word. It seems heartless and can often betray apathy, condescension, dismissal, and a clear lack of action. But it can also be a freeing word because prayer (or rather, contemplation) frees us to live into the reality of the Kingdom of God. Surrendering to God the things of the world frees us to actually love the world instead of be enslaved by it. Accepting God's love allows us to be freed from the guilt of having failed to love as we ought to of and to be empowered to love with a love that is not our own. If I could speak one word into people's lives, especially during this time of darkness, I would say "pray."
"When we pay careful attention to the loving presence of God, the suffering to which we might be led will never darken our hearts or paralyze our movements... When we are led by love instead of driven by fear, we can enter the places of greatest darkness and pain and experience in a unique way the power of God's care. Jesus' final words to Peter are the strongest affirmation of this truth. After having asked Peter three times, 'Do you love me?' and after having been assured three times by Peter of his love, Jesus said, 'When you grow old you will stretch out your hands, and somebody else will put a belt around you and take you where you would rather not go' (John 21:18). Although Peter did not desire it, he was led to the cross as Jesus was. But because it was love and not fear that led him there, the cross was no longer a sign of defeat, but a sign of victory" (Nouwen, Compassion).
This passage speaks of a world we have entered into--a world of darkness--but it also provides us with something to say and something to do when words and actions betray their meangingless. When we can no longer do anything or say anything productive or useful, when we come to the end of ourselves, when we can do nothing but scream, nothing but clench our fist in hopeless despair...all we need to do is look up and whisper, "Yes, I love you." This is enough. Because there is a God who is bent tenderly over the broken world, gently, powerfully, loving it.
The world is shifting. And it's a hard thing to see God's love. Especially when we look at what's going on in places like Gaza (and the DRC, Sri Lanka, Pakistan, Iraq...etc.). But it's there. I promise. All you need to do is respond to it. Love God's people with the love He's given to you. Allow His freedom to free you from worldly things like "security," "vengence," "terrorism," and "fear." Read the news, watch the images, and pray for the people of Israel, the West Bank, and Gaza, who are in desperate need of people to rise up and care. Do what you can to stop the violence.
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