I recently discovered symptoms of PTSD (Posttraumatic Stress Disorder) I have experienced this past year. Although not surprised, I felt relieved that I finally found a label. Like the redemptive process of naming sin and confessing it, the horrors I experienced are coming forth named, dealt with, and moving towards a path of redemption.
Posttraumatic stress disorder occurs when one has "lived through a traumatic event that caused them to fear for their lives, see horrible things, and feel helpless" .
The severity of the disorder depends on the following factors:
How intense the trauma was or how long it lasted
If you lost someone you were close to or were hurt
How close you were to the event
How strong your reaction was
How much you felt in control of events
How much help and support you got after the event
For each of these factors, I could write a couple of stories.
What are some of the symptoms I have had?
- reliving the event
- avoiding situations that remind me of the event
- numbness
- being keyed up
Other "common problems" associated with PTSD include drug abuse, physical reactions, relational breakdown, employment issues, and feelings of hopelessness, shame, and despair. I'd be lying if I didn't say that this resonates.
Ephesians 6 says, "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."
Learning how to recognize how these events impacted me and my ministry now, and how to engage my faith in that process remains the crux of the issue. The grace of God undergirds this entire process. Amen I'm on a process of learning to see how these events were not a barrier to my growth, but rather a means by which I am further developing my heart and passion for God's heart and His love for redemption of the world.
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