This is an article from the American Association for Palestinian Equal Rights about Bethlehem. Just today I was thinking about Christ's presence in the streets of that city.
http://www.aaper.org/site/apps/nlnet/content2.aspx?c=quIXL8MPJpE&b=5492575&content_id={D0D242AF-D852-4462-831B-6A8D146BDEA8}¬oc=1
Friday, December 4, 2009
Friday, November 20, 2009
Encounter with Bono
Yesterday morning, around 8 am, we were finishing up a Bible study on the Upper East side of New York city with some Sacred Heart middle school girls who had attended a FOCUS camp this past summer when I had my encounter with Bono from U2.
Several months ago I had a dream in which I had told him that his music had really ministered to me. I don't remember much surrounding the dream, except that I had said that clearly to him and he was really encouraged.
I've been struggling lately with what it means to believe God when I keep failing into the same ruts or patterns. The night before the encounter I had been talking with my good friend and co-worker about how to trust God in certain areas and step out in faith.
The whole interaction with Bono began when my two co-workers from NY and I were gathering up our things to leave the diner in which we had just hosted the early morning bible study with those middle school girls. I spotted a man outside down below who looked exactly like Bono, but I wrote it off because I wasn't sure. As we exited and turned the corner on 91st and Madison, we brushed up next to Bono who was saying goodbye to his child and wife. We stopped after a few moments and I told me friend the dream I'd had a few months ago. "Well, he's in there right now," she said. Yup! He sure was! I felt a confirmation in my spirit that this was a step of faith that God wanted me to take. I went back in the diner, told my friend who was paying the bill what I was about to do, and she prayed for me to have courage. I walked straight up to Bono who was sitting alone quietly in the corner of the diner and said, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I wanted to tell you that your music has really ministered to me." He told me thank you, and that it had really ministered to him too, as he touched his heart. He asked me my name and we shook hands. Then he said, "God bless you."
It was a really special moment that I believe epitomizes what it's like to trust God and step out in faith. Not only that, but it was a personal confirmation from God that He not only hears the desires of my heart, but gives me the strength to step out and trust him.
It was an awesome morning!
Several months ago I had a dream in which I had told him that his music had really ministered to me. I don't remember much surrounding the dream, except that I had said that clearly to him and he was really encouraged.
I've been struggling lately with what it means to believe God when I keep failing into the same ruts or patterns. The night before the encounter I had been talking with my good friend and co-worker about how to trust God in certain areas and step out in faith.
The whole interaction with Bono began when my two co-workers from NY and I were gathering up our things to leave the diner in which we had just hosted the early morning bible study with those middle school girls. I spotted a man outside down below who looked exactly like Bono, but I wrote it off because I wasn't sure. As we exited and turned the corner on 91st and Madison, we brushed up next to Bono who was saying goodbye to his child and wife. We stopped after a few moments and I told me friend the dream I'd had a few months ago. "Well, he's in there right now," she said. Yup! He sure was! I felt a confirmation in my spirit that this was a step of faith that God wanted me to take. I went back in the diner, told my friend who was paying the bill what I was about to do, and she prayed for me to have courage. I walked straight up to Bono who was sitting alone quietly in the corner of the diner and said, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I wanted to tell you that your music has really ministered to me." He told me thank you, and that it had really ministered to him too, as he touched his heart. He asked me my name and we shook hands. Then he said, "God bless you."
It was a really special moment that I believe epitomizes what it's like to trust God and step out in faith. Not only that, but it was a personal confirmation from God that He not only hears the desires of my heart, but gives me the strength to step out and trust him.
It was an awesome morning!
Monday, November 16, 2009
Game night & one of my favorite schools
I really love the transition from Sunday evening into Mondays. Most people really hate it, but I actually relish it. The weekends here in New Haven consist of a mish-mash of different activities: Friday evenings I switch off with Kendra or Stella leading fellowship meetings at two different schools, then rejoin my friends whereever they are around town. Saturdays are a kind of a "catch-up" day - usually including errands, cleaning, or laudrey. Saturday evenings can vary from watching a play with my roommate, to going to a Yale ice hockey game (something I hope to do more of increasingly this winter).
However, Sunday evenings are a highlight, and the energy usually carries over into Mondays. I'm obsessed with my church, and have been ever since last year. Like all communities, it has had it's highs and lows, but lately the sermons have been rich and practical, and my relationships with people have become more two-sided, instead previously feeling like I always was the broken one (this is not bad, for a season, but it is a testimony to God's power that a lot has changed in my ability to "get over" certain issues and work through things towards a point of greater health. God has really used many people in this community for my healing!).
Then we transition to GAME NIGHT! At first, it was hard to relinquish my Sunday evenings especially when I'm not really much of a game person. They are one of the only quiet nights I have during the week and one of the few evenings I get to spend with my roommates. However, game night has become a fun place for us to bring our friends, eat a great meal, drink some wine (hopefully not wine cooler wine), and play games that range from Life to Mafia. A couple weeks ago, my co-worker Kendra's neighbors announced a BBQ to get to know people in their building. This quickly progressed to a Sunday night game night, which has since moved to Kendra, Mel, and Tracie's apartment. Mel is an avid cook and always whips up an amazing meal, during which I continually learn more about cooking.
Monday mornings I rise early to volunteer at Pathways, an organization that friends of mine from church started, to create dialogue between the East and West (specifically Muslims and others). It's been awesome. I get to recipt, attend lectures, and banter with the other staff members. After working out in the afternoon and usually preparing a bible study, I then ride with Kendra to a school near Hartford where we are currently teaching through the Gospel of Mark. It's the most random group of students, but perhaps the most rewarding bible study I've ever led. It reminds me in small ways of the larger group bible study I would lead at Benjemijn in South Africa where you had your "faithfuls" and then didn't know who else would show up, and it was always a treat and widely diversified group.
It's interesting how whenever I'm at Robb and Asha's apartment, I'm always inspired to write - perhaps that comes about since this was such a great place of healing for me last year. So maybe there may be more blog entries :)
However, Sunday evenings are a highlight, and the energy usually carries over into Mondays. I'm obsessed with my church, and have been ever since last year. Like all communities, it has had it's highs and lows, but lately the sermons have been rich and practical, and my relationships with people have become more two-sided, instead previously feeling like I always was the broken one (this is not bad, for a season, but it is a testimony to God's power that a lot has changed in my ability to "get over" certain issues and work through things towards a point of greater health. God has really used many people in this community for my healing!).
Then we transition to GAME NIGHT! At first, it was hard to relinquish my Sunday evenings especially when I'm not really much of a game person. They are one of the only quiet nights I have during the week and one of the few evenings I get to spend with my roommates. However, game night has become a fun place for us to bring our friends, eat a great meal, drink some wine (hopefully not wine cooler wine), and play games that range from Life to Mafia. A couple weeks ago, my co-worker Kendra's neighbors announced a BBQ to get to know people in their building. This quickly progressed to a Sunday night game night, which has since moved to Kendra, Mel, and Tracie's apartment. Mel is an avid cook and always whips up an amazing meal, during which I continually learn more about cooking.
Monday mornings I rise early to volunteer at Pathways, an organization that friends of mine from church started, to create dialogue between the East and West (specifically Muslims and others). It's been awesome. I get to recipt, attend lectures, and banter with the other staff members. After working out in the afternoon and usually preparing a bible study, I then ride with Kendra to a school near Hartford where we are currently teaching through the Gospel of Mark. It's the most random group of students, but perhaps the most rewarding bible study I've ever led. It reminds me in small ways of the larger group bible study I would lead at Benjemijn in South Africa where you had your "faithfuls" and then didn't know who else would show up, and it was always a treat and widely diversified group.
It's interesting how whenever I'm at Robb and Asha's apartment, I'm always inspired to write - perhaps that comes about since this was such a great place of healing for me last year. So maybe there may be more blog entries :)
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Finally...
It's pretty obvious by glancing at the dates on the posts that I have not written in this blog in a while. My blog has morphed various times over the past few years - from one of the earliest versions of "blog," to it's current state (I even considered Wordpress recently - because you can play around with photo layout more). I don't read many blogs in my spare time, so I wondered what the point was in keeping one of my own. You don't know who reads what you wrote....
But if you look on my shelf you'll see that I have at least 3 types of journals. There's the one I write freehand, my quiet time journal, my ministry journal, and my Internship One/seminary/staff meeting/lists journal.
I don't know really what the point of this journal is... but I think I'm closer to defining it. I might have a specific writing style from now on.. or post specific types of photos... I also probably won't be as political as I've been... not that I'm apologizing... However, I think it's important to keep my notes from South Africa, grad school, the West Bank, and my beginning days of FOCUS within this blog.
I also just might not write in it anymore... I think it's purpose was fulfilled, and now that I'm in the States I can keep in touch with people again in a way that I couldn't when I was abroad :)
We'll see what happens... but it's definitely come a long way from the first time I created a blog with my roommate Kris in South Africa. First, it felt like bursts of clarity, then a place to regurgitate thoughts from class, a venting wall, and then a place to share joys of ministry in boarding schools. All these things have been important at different points. But now it's time to end... maybe now.... we'll see ;)
But if you look on my shelf you'll see that I have at least 3 types of journals. There's the one I write freehand, my quiet time journal, my ministry journal, and my Internship One/seminary/staff meeting/lists journal.
I don't know really what the point of this journal is... but I think I'm closer to defining it. I might have a specific writing style from now on.. or post specific types of photos... I also probably won't be as political as I've been... not that I'm apologizing... However, I think it's important to keep my notes from South Africa, grad school, the West Bank, and my beginning days of FOCUS within this blog.
I also just might not write in it anymore... I think it's purpose was fulfilled, and now that I'm in the States I can keep in touch with people again in a way that I couldn't when I was abroad :)
We'll see what happens... but it's definitely come a long way from the first time I created a blog with my roommate Kris in South Africa. First, it felt like bursts of clarity, then a place to regurgitate thoughts from class, a venting wall, and then a place to share joys of ministry in boarding schools. All these things have been important at different points. But now it's time to end... maybe now.... we'll see ;)
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Written from a friend
One of my good friends in New Haven, a former NEBS (New England Boarding Schools) FOCUS staff worker, is currently in Palestine, tredding the same ground I lived on over a year ago. She's encountering many of the things I did - reacting in many of the same ways - and in a way, I'm re-living it - but praying new things for her, which I didn't have eyes and ears for at the time I was there.
This is an excerpt from an email she recently sent:
I find myself wrestling with to what extent our Lord asks us to fight on behalf of the oppressed, poor, and suffering, and to what extent what they truly need is just simply to know Him. I believe He asks us to strive to meet both needs, physical and spiritual, and I pray I will be able to while here, even if in the teeny tiniest of ways. But I've been haunted by the fact that while the disciples expected Jesus to overthrow Roman rule, and restore justice to his people, His answer to the suffering around Him was to die upon a cross. When does God ask us to fight injustice, and when does He ask us to simply follow Him in a path of suffering?
I wonder, in the midst of these questions, as well as I as wrote my talk a few weeks ago on the Jewish expectations of a Messiah, how much the disciples wrestled with these facts - and how Jesus addressed them. I'm sure they muttered comments about the injustices Roman guards inflicted upon them. How did Jesus respond to the soldiers?
I'm grateful for another friend to walk this road -may God's peace come to that region!
This is an excerpt from an email she recently sent:
I find myself wrestling with to what extent our Lord asks us to fight on behalf of the oppressed, poor, and suffering, and to what extent what they truly need is just simply to know Him. I believe He asks us to strive to meet both needs, physical and spiritual, and I pray I will be able to while here, even if in the teeny tiniest of ways. But I've been haunted by the fact that while the disciples expected Jesus to overthrow Roman rule, and restore justice to his people, His answer to the suffering around Him was to die upon a cross. When does God ask us to fight injustice, and when does He ask us to simply follow Him in a path of suffering?
I wonder, in the midst of these questions, as well as I as wrote my talk a few weeks ago on the Jewish expectations of a Messiah, how much the disciples wrestled with these facts - and how Jesus addressed them. I'm sure they muttered comments about the injustices Roman guards inflicted upon them. How did Jesus respond to the soldiers?
I'm grateful for another friend to walk this road -may God's peace come to that region!
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Reunion
I've had clear moments since I've been on staff with FOCUS where I sit back, think a bit, and wonder out loud - "How did I get here?" Voices and faces from my past are now in my midst, and these people continue to encourage and strengthen me. Many of them I never thought I'd see again. How did God lead me back into this mileu? Why is it particular encouraging to me?
First, FOCUS is familiar. I don't have to try to mold myself to an entirely different culture or language. I grew up in a prep school setting. This familiarity feels good after having strewn my heart around the world in the different places where God called me after college.
Secondly, many of the stereotypes and insecurities I wrestled with in high school are now being turned on their head. I talked recently with my brother about the issues of insecurity we suffered with in high school. We were never "cool," so at times, FOCUS seemed like this foreign yet familiar place, where "cool" kids heard about Jesus. However, now as I press further and further into these student's lives and fight with them back against the powers of darkness that cover so much of these schools, I more firmly believe how insecure we all are (and were) without Jesus at the center of our lives.
I remember when I first came on staff how insecure I felt because I didn't know all the current movies, music, or tv shows that were popular. In many ways, my high school insecurities cropped up as I started my new job. But as I really got to know the people I worked with and others I'd known since high school, I realized how utterly unfounded many of those insecurities and stereotypes were. Ultimately, Jesus seemed to have masterminded this entire job so that I could face and conquer these insecurities in ways that I never would have, had I not been on staff.
First, FOCUS is familiar. I don't have to try to mold myself to an entirely different culture or language. I grew up in a prep school setting. This familiarity feels good after having strewn my heart around the world in the different places where God called me after college.
Secondly, many of the stereotypes and insecurities I wrestled with in high school are now being turned on their head. I talked recently with my brother about the issues of insecurity we suffered with in high school. We were never "cool," so at times, FOCUS seemed like this foreign yet familiar place, where "cool" kids heard about Jesus. However, now as I press further and further into these student's lives and fight with them back against the powers of darkness that cover so much of these schools, I more firmly believe how insecure we all are (and were) without Jesus at the center of our lives.
I remember when I first came on staff how insecure I felt because I didn't know all the current movies, music, or tv shows that were popular. In many ways, my high school insecurities cropped up as I started my new job. But as I really got to know the people I worked with and others I'd known since high school, I realized how utterly unfounded many of those insecurities and stereotypes were. Ultimately, Jesus seemed to have masterminded this entire job so that I could face and conquer these insecurities in ways that I never would have, had I not been on staff.
Friday, June 5, 2009
Obama Speech in Egypt on Jews and Israel
I sat for an hour in my apartment tonight, overjoyed at the ability of President Obama to clarify points of tension, and attempt through this speech, to nullify unhelpful stereotypes and the unhelpful hold that history has had on nations. I think this speech was monumental - not only because of a U.S. president's ability to speak in widely recognized Arab terms, but also because it did much to aid the work of reconciliation. For me, it was a rare moment of someone expressing how I feel after having lived in the West Bank for a couple of months.
Friday, May 8, 2009
I Love Commons (Davidson's I Love College Remix ft. Stephen Curry)
This is awesome!! And Totally true to life :)
Thursday, April 30, 2009
PTSD, and Redemption
I recently discovered symptoms of PTSD (Posttraumatic Stress Disorder) I have experienced this past year. Although not surprised, I felt relieved that I finally found a label. Like the redemptive process of naming sin and confessing it, the horrors I experienced are coming forth named, dealt with, and moving towards a path of redemption.
Posttraumatic stress disorder occurs when one has "lived through a traumatic event that caused them to fear for their lives, see horrible things, and feel helpless" .
The severity of the disorder depends on the following factors:
How intense the trauma was or how long it lasted
If you lost someone you were close to or were hurt
How close you were to the event
How strong your reaction was
How much you felt in control of events
How much help and support you got after the event
For each of these factors, I could write a couple of stories.
What are some of the symptoms I have had?
- reliving the event
- avoiding situations that remind me of the event
- numbness
- being keyed up
Other "common problems" associated with PTSD include drug abuse, physical reactions, relational breakdown, employment issues, and feelings of hopelessness, shame, and despair. I'd be lying if I didn't say that this resonates.
Ephesians 6 says, "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."
Learning how to recognize how these events impacted me and my ministry now, and how to engage my faith in that process remains the crux of the issue. The grace of God undergirds this entire process. Amen I'm on a process of learning to see how these events were not a barrier to my growth, but rather a means by which I am further developing my heart and passion for God's heart and His love for redemption of the world.
Posttraumatic stress disorder occurs when one has "lived through a traumatic event that caused them to fear for their lives, see horrible things, and feel helpless" .
The severity of the disorder depends on the following factors:
How intense the trauma was or how long it lasted
If you lost someone you were close to or were hurt
How close you were to the event
How strong your reaction was
How much you felt in control of events
How much help and support you got after the event
For each of these factors, I could write a couple of stories.
What are some of the symptoms I have had?
- reliving the event
- avoiding situations that remind me of the event
- numbness
- being keyed up
Other "common problems" associated with PTSD include drug abuse, physical reactions, relational breakdown, employment issues, and feelings of hopelessness, shame, and despair. I'd be lying if I didn't say that this resonates.
Ephesians 6 says, "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."
Learning how to recognize how these events impacted me and my ministry now, and how to engage my faith in that process remains the crux of the issue. The grace of God undergirds this entire process. Amen I'm on a process of learning to see how these events were not a barrier to my growth, but rather a means by which I am further developing my heart and passion for God's heart and His love for redemption of the world.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Anxiety, and Redemption
Yesterday, I found myself once again in the throes of anxiety. This remains a new, unknown struggle to me. Sure, unsure seasons have come upon me before in my life - but panic attacks are uncharted territory. This summer, this fall, and this spring I've come upon these crazy seasons.
Often, when seeking healing for these things, the symptoms often become worse before they become better. However, as stuff rises to the surface, my receptivity to Scripture and new words from the Lord becomes more acute.
Actually, these are more just pure, divine breakthroughs.
Again, yesterday, I sat in staff meeting with my other coworkers studying Matthew 16:21-28 together. We are going through a commentary on Matthew by Charles Price (a pastor I once heard in Toronto).
There are two things he says in his commentary in regards to the self-denial Christ speaks of:
1) "To remain single or to marry and have children is neither the goal nor the phobia of life. The goal is that at all times, in all circumstances, and at any cost we become the means by which God is able to do his work and fulfil his purpose, irrespective of personal implications to ourselves."
- for me, meaning this anxiety is one of the means by which God is doing His work (not that He wants me to have anxiety, but that it could be redeemed and used rightly)
2) "There is virtue only in settling the issue of the Lordship of Christ, and everything else falls into place as a consequence of that."
- God is Lord over this anxiety.
Similarly, an important distinction lies between worldly and godly sorrow. Worldly sorrow says in the face of anxiety - "Crap! I'm anxious again - what's wrong with me? I'm so messed up! I'll never be ok, etc., etc., etc." Godly sorrow, however, carries a far different component. Not only does the hope of healing ("salvation") lie in its midst, godly sorrow also carries an ardent eagerness to be well again.
2 Corinthians 7:10, 11 "Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done."
This godly sorrow is comforting, because it doesn't end in death, but begins in an upward position, and ravenously reaches toward true healing.
Often, when seeking healing for these things, the symptoms often become worse before they become better. However, as stuff rises to the surface, my receptivity to Scripture and new words from the Lord becomes more acute.
Actually, these are more just pure, divine breakthroughs.
Again, yesterday, I sat in staff meeting with my other coworkers studying Matthew 16:21-28 together. We are going through a commentary on Matthew by Charles Price (a pastor I once heard in Toronto).
There are two things he says in his commentary in regards to the self-denial Christ speaks of:
1) "To remain single or to marry and have children is neither the goal nor the phobia of life. The goal is that at all times, in all circumstances, and at any cost we become the means by which God is able to do his work and fulfil his purpose, irrespective of personal implications to ourselves."
- for me, meaning this anxiety is one of the means by which God is doing His work (not that He wants me to have anxiety, but that it could be redeemed and used rightly)
2) "There is virtue only in settling the issue of the Lordship of Christ, and everything else falls into place as a consequence of that."
- God is Lord over this anxiety.
Similarly, an important distinction lies between worldly and godly sorrow. Worldly sorrow says in the face of anxiety - "Crap! I'm anxious again - what's wrong with me? I'm so messed up! I'll never be ok, etc., etc., etc." Godly sorrow, however, carries a far different component. Not only does the hope of healing ("salvation") lie in its midst, godly sorrow also carries an ardent eagerness to be well again.
2 Corinthians 7:10, 11 "Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done."
This godly sorrow is comforting, because it doesn't end in death, but begins in an upward position, and ravenously reaches toward true healing.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Messiah
I'm writing a talk on "Messiah." - what does this word mean, what are its implications? This is all for a talk training that I will be a part of on the Vineyard next week as we have staff training.
It's been a long time since I've been on the Vineyard. I was at such a different place last August. I hadn't even moved into my apartment in New Haven, and I only knew one other person in that town besides my two roommates.
Now, I'm a part of a thriving church, a healing homegroup, and some great friends. Ministry is growing steadily, and I'm learning to go deeper in the girls' lives that God has entrusted to me.
However, I'm still in deep need of this Messiah/King. The Anointed One came to set us free. And while I can cling to Him, my feet feel weak sometimes and I have wavered much this year through different battles.
This talk I'm writing reminds me of His Kingship, and Priestly nature. My mom has an icon of Jesus as priest - however the turban-like thing he is wearing looks more like a regal crown. Perhaps it's meant to be that way.
I also have an icon in my room of Christ carrying a lamb. For all intensive purposes, he looks like he could have been one of the many shepherds I saw in Palestine. What impresses me now though about this icon though is His grip on the ankles of this lamb.
He will not let me turn! Psalm 18:36
This Jesus with His kingly and priestly nature, also stoops down low to save a lowly sheep from turning.
It's been a long time since I've been on the Vineyard. I was at such a different place last August. I hadn't even moved into my apartment in New Haven, and I only knew one other person in that town besides my two roommates.
Now, I'm a part of a thriving church, a healing homegroup, and some great friends. Ministry is growing steadily, and I'm learning to go deeper in the girls' lives that God has entrusted to me.
However, I'm still in deep need of this Messiah/King. The Anointed One came to set us free. And while I can cling to Him, my feet feel weak sometimes and I have wavered much this year through different battles.
This talk I'm writing reminds me of His Kingship, and Priestly nature. My mom has an icon of Jesus as priest - however the turban-like thing he is wearing looks more like a regal crown. Perhaps it's meant to be that way.
I also have an icon in my room of Christ carrying a lamb. For all intensive purposes, he looks like he could have been one of the many shepherds I saw in Palestine. What impresses me now though about this icon though is His grip on the ankles of this lamb.
He will not let me turn! Psalm 18:36
This Jesus with His kingly and priestly nature, also stoops down low to save a lowly sheep from turning.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Babies, babies, babies!!
Ok - so it's been a crazy week! 4 friends of mine have each had baby girls within the past week!
Jenny Rawlings Wernly (best friend from college) - gave birth to Anna Elizabeth Wernly!! She's in Seattle, so I'll hopefully get there sometime next month. I've only seen Jenny twice since our college graduation - so a trip to see her is definitely in order!
Mary Sommerville McCullough (another best friend from college) - gave birth to her second baby girl - Caroline! Her other daughter, Katie, is a dear, so I expect this little one to give them now double the laughs, smiles, and all that a daughter brings!
Anna Taylor (wife of co-worker for FOCUS in Boston) - I met her and her husband Dom this summer as I volunteered at Internship One at Martha's Vineyard. They are a marvelous couple and great encouragement to me in this work! Add to that - they are both from the UK and came out of the ministry that FOCUS is founded upon. Their daughter's name is Anabella!
Heather Lyman Alexander (best friend from childhood) - Her dad and my dad worked together at our church. She gave birth yesterday to a dear little girl! I still don't know her name, but will find out soon! She's only in NY, so i'll be there in a couple of days to visit!!
Psalm 127:3
"Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him."
Jenny Rawlings Wernly (best friend from college) - gave birth to Anna Elizabeth Wernly!! She's in Seattle, so I'll hopefully get there sometime next month. I've only seen Jenny twice since our college graduation - so a trip to see her is definitely in order!
Mary Sommerville McCullough (another best friend from college) - gave birth to her second baby girl - Caroline! Her other daughter, Katie, is a dear, so I expect this little one to give them now double the laughs, smiles, and all that a daughter brings!
Anna Taylor (wife of co-worker for FOCUS in Boston) - I met her and her husband Dom this summer as I volunteered at Internship One at Martha's Vineyard. They are a marvelous couple and great encouragement to me in this work! Add to that - they are both from the UK and came out of the ministry that FOCUS is founded upon. Their daughter's name is Anabella!
Heather Lyman Alexander (best friend from childhood) - Her dad and my dad worked together at our church. She gave birth yesterday to a dear little girl! I still don't know her name, but will find out soon! She's only in NY, so i'll be there in a couple of days to visit!!
Psalm 127:3
"Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him."
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Conference Update #2
In the afternoon I attended Stanley Hauerwas' plenary session on the Powers and war. It was fascinating. I LOVED what he had to say about war and feel confirmed now to say more and more that I agree with the pacifist point of view (more on this to follow in a later entry). I'm seeing it all over the Bible now, clearly demonstrated - from the Sermon on the Mount, to real life examples, to understanding more and more Christ's ultimate sacrifice and its significance. It forever did away with our need to sacrifice ourselves for any need other than Christ (as martyrs do more often than we realize around the world today, but not much in the US or Canada).
Unfortunately I started to get a splitting headache after lunch, so I only briefly attended a breakout session on the Powers concerning food and sex.. however, I recieved a very interesting handout that I'm sure I and many of my co-staff workers in FOCUS will use when leading high schoolers (and college students) concerning eating disorders and sexual behavior.
The final plenary session talk was led by Marva Dawn. She's awesome. I'm currently reading a book by hers on the Sabbath and have learned so much about the benefits of taking a day off, and actually using it to serve God. I used to resent many of the legalistic influences I'd had concerning Sabbath in college and beyond, but her approach is so cloaked with grace and wisdom, I want to share her thoughts with the world - which, of course, God already did within the 10 Commandments :)
Finally, she also talked about how no one can actually define what the Powers are - the Bible doesn't even define them. HOWEVER, we are given clear guidance as to the manifestations of evil influnces in our world and how we are to fight against them. Most importantly, she dwelt on how Christ's sacrifice defeated those powers once and for all. Citing Colossions 1:20,21 (i think) reminded us of how ultimately, all things are answerable to the Lordship of Christ. They either submit or turn away.
While I was struck again by how many things in this world turn away from Him, I was filled with hope today, as I saw more clearly these Powers at work. I could reflect on their influence upon me in the West Bank (and South Africa), and more encouragingly, could see how these Powers are at work presently in the boarding schools I travel to week after week. That is the ministry I'm called to serve right now. While I resent so much of the culture these kids are trapped in, this conference reminded me to see all of this how Christ sees it. Creation is not totally depraved. All of us human beings were called to serve and love Him only, but we are all fallen, and now we are in a state, as we await His return, of calling our world back to its original vocation - that of loving the Lord with all our might, and loving others as ourselves.
(In the words of Coldplay (and ultimately Jesus), quoted on the back our conference guidebook)
You belong to me,
Not swallowed in the sea.
Unfortunately I started to get a splitting headache after lunch, so I only briefly attended a breakout session on the Powers concerning food and sex.. however, I recieved a very interesting handout that I'm sure I and many of my co-staff workers in FOCUS will use when leading high schoolers (and college students) concerning eating disorders and sexual behavior.
The final plenary session talk was led by Marva Dawn. She's awesome. I'm currently reading a book by hers on the Sabbath and have learned so much about the benefits of taking a day off, and actually using it to serve God. I used to resent many of the legalistic influences I'd had concerning Sabbath in college and beyond, but her approach is so cloaked with grace and wisdom, I want to share her thoughts with the world - which, of course, God already did within the 10 Commandments :)
Finally, she also talked about how no one can actually define what the Powers are - the Bible doesn't even define them. HOWEVER, we are given clear guidance as to the manifestations of evil influnces in our world and how we are to fight against them. Most importantly, she dwelt on how Christ's sacrifice defeated those powers once and for all. Citing Colossions 1:20,21 (i think) reminded us of how ultimately, all things are answerable to the Lordship of Christ. They either submit or turn away.
While I was struck again by how many things in this world turn away from Him, I was filled with hope today, as I saw more clearly these Powers at work. I could reflect on their influence upon me in the West Bank (and South Africa), and more encouragingly, could see how these Powers are at work presently in the boarding schools I travel to week after week. That is the ministry I'm called to serve right now. While I resent so much of the culture these kids are trapped in, this conference reminded me to see all of this how Christ sees it. Creation is not totally depraved. All of us human beings were called to serve and love Him only, but we are all fallen, and now we are in a state, as we await His return, of calling our world back to its original vocation - that of loving the Lord with all our might, and loving others as ourselves.
(In the words of Coldplay (and ultimately Jesus), quoted on the back our conference guidebook)
You belong to me,
Not swallowed in the sea.
Conference Update
I am here at the conference that my friend Chris is hosting, and it is a virtual homecoming for me. I'm reuniting with many of my good friends from grad school and it is warming my heart.
Yesterday my friend Grace picked me up from the Toronto airport and she updated me on why her and her husband John left Fiji earlier this year when they had committed to two years. Our stories are very similar - as I also had left my posts in South Africa and the West Bank respectively, after having felt like God had called me there. To say that we have all wrestled with issues of calling and what these experiences brought up has been an understatement.
However, it was so good to talk about this things and remember, reflecting that God is in charge and is redeeming those times.
This morning, the speaker was Walter Wink. He's written many books, one of which I read this past year, The Powers That Be. He says that institutions are neither good or bad - but that there are spiritual powers at play within everything. He cited Revelation chapter 12 (I believe it is) where letters are written to the early churches - however, what is interesting is that these letters are written to the churches' angels. If we only remember that all people, institutions, and systems have a spiritual element at their core, we might be more easily disposed to see God's grace at work and His redemptive power to judge, redeem, and call us all back to Himself.
Take the Israeli/Palestinian conflict for example: Here we have two countries at deep odds with each other- each with a desire for autonomy, protection of its sacred lands, and a desire ultimately for their people to live at peace. Clearly this is not the case, and somewhere along the road, the desires got screwed up.
Clearly, as Walter Wink states, the powers within this world were created good, became fallen, and are ultimately redeemable. Powers to promote peace, freedom for people, and respect, as well as governments that protect and promote the welfare of their citizens is at the heart of every country - These types of powers are good. But because we live in a fallen world, those powers have now been distorted in various degrees. It is our goal and life calling, as redeemed children of the King, to work in the struggle to redeem this fallen world. And this struggle is worth it!!
So, sitting night after night in the student center getting to know Palestinian students was worth it; letting people know about the plight of both Palestinians and Israelis is worth it; and loving the families I was placed around was worth it.
There's one more thing I want to add: I added a break-out session led by Walter Wink's wife, June. Although it could seem new-agey, as we moved about the room experimenting with prayer and movement, I found great healing to ask for God's blessing on me physically. At one point, we were asked to touch ourselves and ask for God's healing over this area of ourselves. I prayed for my belly - where so much of the turmoil of this past year was concentrated- from my bedroom throwing up in the West Bank, to returning home, to stresses that have plagued me this past year. It was really healing. God has compassion on these parts - both physically, and what they have symbolized for me over the past year - all that has made me sick and tight in the very core of me.
A final note: Walter reiterated a point he made in his book of how he boldly spent his sabbatical in the 80s under Pinochet's reign in Chile. The stress, the evil, the torture of place seeped down deep within him and manifested itself physically. Yes, I knew what he meant. But once he was able to recognize the Powers at play and call them out, the healing and the de-captivement could take place.
I still have a long way to go, but this will definitely help me as I seek to deconstruct the evils that overtook me and others a year ago in the West Bank, and as I strive ahead to seek God and make Him known in the boarding school institutions of the Northeast.
These institutions are neither evil or depraved in their own right, but only fallen and in need of redemption through God's grace upon them. O, to call this out upon the Israeli soldiers at the border instead of hating them; O, to call this out upon the Palestinian youth who are desperate for voice and compassion instead of reactions of violence; O to call this out upon myself and the Powers that I seek to do battle with even in this day!
Yesterday my friend Grace picked me up from the Toronto airport and she updated me on why her and her husband John left Fiji earlier this year when they had committed to two years. Our stories are very similar - as I also had left my posts in South Africa and the West Bank respectively, after having felt like God had called me there. To say that we have all wrestled with issues of calling and what these experiences brought up has been an understatement.
However, it was so good to talk about this things and remember, reflecting that God is in charge and is redeeming those times.
This morning, the speaker was Walter Wink. He's written many books, one of which I read this past year, The Powers That Be. He says that institutions are neither good or bad - but that there are spiritual powers at play within everything. He cited Revelation chapter 12 (I believe it is) where letters are written to the early churches - however, what is interesting is that these letters are written to the churches' angels. If we only remember that all people, institutions, and systems have a spiritual element at their core, we might be more easily disposed to see God's grace at work and His redemptive power to judge, redeem, and call us all back to Himself.
Take the Israeli/Palestinian conflict for example: Here we have two countries at deep odds with each other- each with a desire for autonomy, protection of its sacred lands, and a desire ultimately for their people to live at peace. Clearly this is not the case, and somewhere along the road, the desires got screwed up.
Clearly, as Walter Wink states, the powers within this world were created good, became fallen, and are ultimately redeemable. Powers to promote peace, freedom for people, and respect, as well as governments that protect and promote the welfare of their citizens is at the heart of every country - These types of powers are good. But because we live in a fallen world, those powers have now been distorted in various degrees. It is our goal and life calling, as redeemed children of the King, to work in the struggle to redeem this fallen world. And this struggle is worth it!!
So, sitting night after night in the student center getting to know Palestinian students was worth it; letting people know about the plight of both Palestinians and Israelis is worth it; and loving the families I was placed around was worth it.
There's one more thing I want to add: I added a break-out session led by Walter Wink's wife, June. Although it could seem new-agey, as we moved about the room experimenting with prayer and movement, I found great healing to ask for God's blessing on me physically. At one point, we were asked to touch ourselves and ask for God's healing over this area of ourselves. I prayed for my belly - where so much of the turmoil of this past year was concentrated- from my bedroom throwing up in the West Bank, to returning home, to stresses that have plagued me this past year. It was really healing. God has compassion on these parts - both physically, and what they have symbolized for me over the past year - all that has made me sick and tight in the very core of me.
A final note: Walter reiterated a point he made in his book of how he boldly spent his sabbatical in the 80s under Pinochet's reign in Chile. The stress, the evil, the torture of place seeped down deep within him and manifested itself physically. Yes, I knew what he meant. But once he was able to recognize the Powers at play and call them out, the healing and the de-captivement could take place.
I still have a long way to go, but this will definitely help me as I seek to deconstruct the evils that overtook me and others a year ago in the West Bank, and as I strive ahead to seek God and make Him known in the boarding school institutions of the Northeast.
These institutions are neither evil or depraved in their own right, but only fallen and in need of redemption through God's grace upon them. O, to call this out upon the Israeli soldiers at the border instead of hating them; O, to call this out upon the Palestinian youth who are desperate for voice and compassion instead of reactions of violence; O to call this out upon myself and the Powers that I seek to do battle with even in this day!
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Dad's icon, UVA, Epiphaneia, and church history
My dad just came upstairs to tell me that an icon he painted for a church in north Philly is on their webpage! You can check it out here.
I just came up today from a wonderful trip down south to visit some FOCUS volunteers at UVA. A delightful young girl from Emma Willard School hatched the whole idea and I provided transport! Aside from tye-dying, hiking, and attending some classes - we spent a lot of time catching up with people there we know and love. Two of the girls I hung out with are pictured below in the bottom left from the FOCUS camp they led with me this summer:
This weekend I fly up to Toronto to attend my friend's conference on social justice and Christianity - specifically focusing this year on the relevance of our faith to issues of war, recession, food, sex, economics, and the Sabbath. You can read about it all here. More personally, this conference is hosted by my friend who accompanied me in the West Bank last year. Many others from our grad school cohort are coming as well!! Here's a pic from our graduation a year and a half ago.
Then I get back to Philly, gather with other FOCUS 'fellows' (1st and 2nd year staff) and participate in a seminar training us to answer students' "tough questions." I'm designated to tackle the question, "Why is church history so violent?"
I chose this question because I remember sitting in my dorm room sophomore year of college weeping over eyewitness accounts of the era of the Spanish colonization of America. I never thoroughly researched the question before, although I'd come to grips with it at different times in my faith.
Perhaps I'll post my findings on this question in a later blog entry...
For now, it's off to Canada!!
Monday, March 16, 2009
A Bunch of Pictures
At Ivoryton, CT (FOCUS Winter House Party) - over New Year's
All these girls in the above picture go to my old school in Philly!
Cabin U3!
The following pictures are from a week in January that the "FOCUS fellows" (1st and 2nd year staff) spent at The Episcopal School for Ministry outside of Pittsburgh, PA. We took a course on the Old Testament. It was awesome!!
We played a lot of bananagrams!!
And this is my roommate's bird, Sonny :)
All these girls in the above picture go to my old school in Philly!
Cabin U3!The following pictures are from a week in January that the "FOCUS fellows" (1st and 2nd year staff) spent at The Episcopal School for Ministry outside of Pittsburgh, PA. We took a course on the Old Testament. It was awesome!!
We played a lot of bananagrams!!And this is my roommate's bird, Sonny :)
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
New U2 Album!!
In heightened anticipation of the new U2 album, I wanted to post an anonymous theological review of the new album No Line On The Horizon (out March 6th) that was posted on a blog a couple of my friend's write in NYC as part of their ministry. Here is the link!!! http://mockingbirdnyc.blogspot.com/2009/02/i-found-grace-inside-sound-theological.html
Here is a picture of the new album cover:
And here is a picture I googled... Hey, The Edge, that's Arabic right? What does it say?
Saturday, February 14, 2009
February Update
It's a Saturday night and I'm sitting here alone on the most comfortable couch in my neighbor's living room. A tray of tea ready to be made sits on the coffee table, surrounded with copies of "Maternity Today" and a gigantic candle. This is the site of my beloved homegroup on Tuesday evenings. Tonight though, I am babysitting for my friends as they go out and enjoy some important time together.
Living in New Haven has been full of these wonderful surprises and opportunities. Today even, my roommate and I took a long walk in our neighborhood, saying hi to people we passed, talking about boys, our jobs, and horses. It was finally a warm enough day to take a stroll. Later, we went to an African drumming and dance class that my roommate has been attending. It whipped my arse, but I was grateful for the outlet and for meeting new people.
My other roommate is attending a retreat we are hosting for Deerfield Academy; a school that has a strong Christian fellowship, but with students desiring to go deeper in their faith. I'm not attending because they desired more students and less staff; something I am not offended by at all.
FOCUS has seemed really random as of late - where I must plan everything every week, be hyper-intentional about the time I give to students, and try to drive safely (something unsuccessful accomplished, as I got into a small fender-bender of my own doing this past week). However, ministry continues to be a strange blessing. Even last night, it seemed strange to travel with my staffmate after a dinner at Chili's to attend a school play at a girl's boarding school in the middle-of-nowhere Connecticut. However, after the play, the student we came to support beamed with joy when she saw us, as did another student we met up with during the intermission. This high school actress' parents also applauded us in a way we didn't expect. They had done high school ministry in their younger years and looked at us with compassion and deep gratefulness for the work we are doing. We wanted to say to them, "Really, you don't understand how little we do." But we let it rest and offered up silent prayers to God that He could understand our bizarre lives and gratefulness that only He could reach these students through us, even if we feel like we don't do much.
In other news, God continues to wash sweet balms of healing and understanding upon me as I process experiences from South Africa, the West Bank and other places. In a book I read last year by Henri Nouwen called "Compassion," he describes how the monstrocities of this world can only be understood, prayed for, and responded to through the healing and constructive work of people in community. As I pray about the future and where God might take me, it gives me great encouragement to know that often God places us in places of community for our own healing and other's, and that He desires us to live this way the rest of our lives.
In conclusion, I'm incredibly grateful for this season, but continue to offer prayers for healing, for perspective on my life, and for boldness to step where He may be leading me.
In the words of my Guinean drum and dance instructors this evening, "C'est tout! Merci!"
Living in New Haven has been full of these wonderful surprises and opportunities. Today even, my roommate and I took a long walk in our neighborhood, saying hi to people we passed, talking about boys, our jobs, and horses. It was finally a warm enough day to take a stroll. Later, we went to an African drumming and dance class that my roommate has been attending. It whipped my arse, but I was grateful for the outlet and for meeting new people.
My other roommate is attending a retreat we are hosting for Deerfield Academy; a school that has a strong Christian fellowship, but with students desiring to go deeper in their faith. I'm not attending because they desired more students and less staff; something I am not offended by at all.
FOCUS has seemed really random as of late - where I must plan everything every week, be hyper-intentional about the time I give to students, and try to drive safely (something unsuccessful accomplished, as I got into a small fender-bender of my own doing this past week). However, ministry continues to be a strange blessing. Even last night, it seemed strange to travel with my staffmate after a dinner at Chili's to attend a school play at a girl's boarding school in the middle-of-nowhere Connecticut. However, after the play, the student we came to support beamed with joy when she saw us, as did another student we met up with during the intermission. This high school actress' parents also applauded us in a way we didn't expect. They had done high school ministry in their younger years and looked at us with compassion and deep gratefulness for the work we are doing. We wanted to say to them, "Really, you don't understand how little we do." But we let it rest and offered up silent prayers to God that He could understand our bizarre lives and gratefulness that only He could reach these students through us, even if we feel like we don't do much.
In other news, God continues to wash sweet balms of healing and understanding upon me as I process experiences from South Africa, the West Bank and other places. In a book I read last year by Henri Nouwen called "Compassion," he describes how the monstrocities of this world can only be understood, prayed for, and responded to through the healing and constructive work of people in community. As I pray about the future and where God might take me, it gives me great encouragement to know that often God places us in places of community for our own healing and other's, and that He desires us to live this way the rest of our lives.
In conclusion, I'm incredibly grateful for this season, but continue to offer prayers for healing, for perspective on my life, and for boldness to step where He may be leading me.
In the words of my Guinean drum and dance instructors this evening, "C'est tout! Merci!"
Monday, February 2, 2009
The Evolving Church: Amidst the Powers Commercial
This conference, hosted by friend Chris who I worked in the West Bank with, will deal with social justice and Christianty. Toronto, March 21st. Should be freakin' awesome.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Depoliticizing
As I sat in an apartment on the Upper East Side of New York City last weekend, I began to understand that I need a new approach as I unravel this past year. With Gaza reeling in the aftermath of war, I would be seething in anger at moments, but proud to hold back emotion at others. Something was clearly wrong and I had been praying for a breakthrough. Two have come.
The first was a sermon by R.J. (a FOCUS alum) in his house-church in NYC. As he spoke on suffering, I realized that I need boldness to step into the depths of the pain I saw and take off much of the Palestinian versus Israeli lens which has clouded my vision, and see how Christ speaks to the human suffering I saw and experienced. Easier said than done. However, this encouragement was vital. It is the way out.
Secondly, I'm befriending an Israeli. She's stood at interesting crossroads and lives a story of redemption. Born in communist U.S.S.R., lived in Israel; a Jew, became a Christian at Yale, now Eastern Orthodox. She entered the threshold of my homegroup two weeks ago and I held back a gasp - one of relief that at present someone in the room could understand eastern orthodoxy (a road my family is traveling), and secondly that God could coordinate something so ghastly ironic. This homegroup - such a place of healing for me from my experiences abroad now embraces someone who's political persuasion deep down contains something vastly different from my own.
It seems that God is teaching me something.
None of this is easy, but if I am to take the words of Scripture seriously, the words which say of Christ, he was "a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering," (Is 53:3) - then I know I am steered rightly, and I will learn much by traveling this way.
The first was a sermon by R.J. (a FOCUS alum) in his house-church in NYC. As he spoke on suffering, I realized that I need boldness to step into the depths of the pain I saw and take off much of the Palestinian versus Israeli lens which has clouded my vision, and see how Christ speaks to the human suffering I saw and experienced. Easier said than done. However, this encouragement was vital. It is the way out.
Secondly, I'm befriending an Israeli. She's stood at interesting crossroads and lives a story of redemption. Born in communist U.S.S.R., lived in Israel; a Jew, became a Christian at Yale, now Eastern Orthodox. She entered the threshold of my homegroup two weeks ago and I held back a gasp - one of relief that at present someone in the room could understand eastern orthodoxy (a road my family is traveling), and secondly that God could coordinate something so ghastly ironic. This homegroup - such a place of healing for me from my experiences abroad now embraces someone who's political persuasion deep down contains something vastly different from my own.
It seems that God is teaching me something.
None of this is easy, but if I am to take the words of Scripture seriously, the words which say of Christ, he was "a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering," (Is 53:3) - then I know I am steered rightly, and I will learn much by traveling this way.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Some thoughts from a Friend who also lived in Birzeit
A friend of mine was in Birzeit this past semester doing, in essence, the same kind of work I was doing a year ago. We maintain correspondance to encourage one another and to keep one another adrift of how our dear friends are doing there.
Here is a piece she recently wrote in response to the happenings in Gaza and Israel.
T: "Why is Israel bombing Gaza?! Why isn't the US saying ANYTHING?! What is going to happen? Are people going to sustain their response until Israel stops or are thing simply going to return to apathy and anger? When will Israel stop, when everyone in Gaza is dead? What difference will Obama make? What will happen in Israel and Palestin's elections? Why do people hate? Who does Livni think she is? In fact, who does Rice think she is? Where did she get her information? What good will the protests accross the world do? What is going to happen?"
Y: "I don't know."
Y: "We are the ones who are trying to make a difference! What does it mean that all I can think of is going up to one of the Israelis or Americans or reporters and smacking them accross the face?! I mean seriously, we're the ones who can speak to all sides, but what can we do when no one is listening!?!"
T: "One of the hardest things for me in watching the news is that I know that my people in the States aren't seeing the same things I'm seeing. Somehow their image of the Middle East is so scewed that they don't see the injustice going on, they don't see how their tax-dollars and moral support is contributing to mass murder. Somehow they don't see Gaza suffering, they just see Israeli fear. Somehow they don't see Palestinians, they just see terrorists."
T: "I feel a hatred that I've kept bottled up inside of me for so long. What can I do when I hear that three children from one family were killed? I mean seriously, half of Gaza is under the age of 14 and it is the most densely populated land-masses in the world...when you bomb there, you end up bombing children. It's sick how it's being justified. But despite this, I don't believe in violence. I don't want this to be an anger rant from another Arab. I want to communicate that as frustrated as I am, I believe things can change. And those changes are not going to come by burning an American flag or an Israeli flag or by throwing rocks. Im frustrated at both sides. I understand that Hamas is angry and wants to retaliate but I just want to say: DO NOT call for suicide terror! I will not agree with that. No. At the same time, I can't preach peace when in my own heart there is so much hatred. I have to deal with that before I can influence other people. Non-violence needs to be something that you live and breath, and right now it's not something that I can live and breathe."
T: "There are so many things standing in our way. The obstacles are seemingly insurmountable. From disunity among both the Israeli and Palestinian non-violence movements, factionalism, the media, the US, Christian Zionism...AAAH. Where do we even begin?"
V: "I feel so powerless. I can't do anything about what's going on!"
T: "Yes you can, don't rob yourself of that. In a world that is rapidly spirling into darkness, hatred, and war, you can speak into that and show people how to love!"
Y: "Well, ok. I know that I can do some things, but I can't do the one thing I want to."
T: "What's that?"
Y: "Make the bombing stop."
T: "Yeah."
Y: (In response to my question: If you could communicate one thing to my American friends, what would it be?)"If I knew what it would take to stop the killing, I would beg Americans to do it. I would say write to your President, but that doesn't help. Do you call for a boycott? What do you boycott? You can tell people in the Middle East to boycott the American products...but what will that do??! You can write your your Senators but, again, what will that do?! If you could demonstrate, that would be great, but be careful and don't do it out of hate. Protest, demonstrate, DO something. But I'm not sure if anything will actually make a difference. I guess the most important thing I would tell you is to educate yourself, watch the news from different perspectives, and evalute it...imagine people in the statistics, imagine yourself there. I'm not going to tell you which side to go on but I want you to educate yourselves and make your own decision...and then DO something. The entire world is watching this and the entire world is frustrated but they can't make a difference. Africa's doing stuff, Asia is doing stuff, Russia is doing stuff (People are getting arrested in RUSSIA for us!)...but will any of it come to anything? I don't know. But again, I don't want to tell you what side to take. Just educate yourself. And care.
T: "It's not even about sides. I hate using that word because, well, I'm on people's side. No, actually, I'm on God's side. Whatever that means."
Most of the time I can't even articulate a question. The hole inside of my chest is so painful that all I can utter is a strangled cry of frustration. What else is there to say? When it's the end of the day and bombs are still falling, people are still crying, and the Palestinians in Gaza are still not living life the way it's meant to be lived, what else is there to say? How do we live into the answer when the questions are so blastedly painful?
I made tea with a friend this evening. She stood in the middle of her kitchen, closed her eyes, and spoke through clenched teeth: "I can't do anything." I responded, calmly, "pray." She ignored me and rationally, carefully, went through all of the reasons she is helpless, powerless, and, therefore, hopeless. I repeatedly uttered the calm refrain: "pray." This is a hard word. It seems heartless and can often betray apathy, condescension, dismissal, and a clear lack of action. But it can also be a freeing word because prayer (or rather, contemplation) frees us to live into the reality of the Kingdom of God. Surrendering to God the things of the world frees us to actually love the world instead of be enslaved by it. Accepting God's love allows us to be freed from the guilt of having failed to love as we ought to of and to be empowered to love with a love that is not our own. If I could speak one word into people's lives, especially during this time of darkness, I would say "pray."
"When we pay careful attention to the loving presence of God, the suffering to which we might be led will never darken our hearts or paralyze our movements... When we are led by love instead of driven by fear, we can enter the places of greatest darkness and pain and experience in a unique way the power of God's care. Jesus' final words to Peter are the strongest affirmation of this truth. After having asked Peter three times, 'Do you love me?' and after having been assured three times by Peter of his love, Jesus said, 'When you grow old you will stretch out your hands, and somebody else will put a belt around you and take you where you would rather not go' (John 21:18). Although Peter did not desire it, he was led to the cross as Jesus was. But because it was love and not fear that led him there, the cross was no longer a sign of defeat, but a sign of victory" (Nouwen, Compassion).
This passage speaks of a world we have entered into--a world of darkness--but it also provides us with something to say and something to do when words and actions betray their meangingless. When we can no longer do anything or say anything productive or useful, when we come to the end of ourselves, when we can do nothing but scream, nothing but clench our fist in hopeless despair...all we need to do is look up and whisper, "Yes, I love you." This is enough. Because there is a God who is bent tenderly over the broken world, gently, powerfully, loving it.
The world is shifting. And it's a hard thing to see God's love. Especially when we look at what's going on in places like Gaza (and the DRC, Sri Lanka, Pakistan, Iraq...etc.). But it's there. I promise. All you need to do is respond to it. Love God's people with the love He's given to you. Allow His freedom to free you from worldly things like "security," "vengence," "terrorism," and "fear." Read the news, watch the images, and pray for the people of Israel, the West Bank, and Gaza, who are in desperate need of people to rise up and care. Do what you can to stop the violence.
Here is a piece she recently wrote in response to the happenings in Gaza and Israel.
T: "Why is Israel bombing Gaza?! Why isn't the US saying ANYTHING?! What is going to happen? Are people going to sustain their response until Israel stops or are thing simply going to return to apathy and anger? When will Israel stop, when everyone in Gaza is dead? What difference will Obama make? What will happen in Israel and Palestin's elections? Why do people hate? Who does Livni think she is? In fact, who does Rice think she is? Where did she get her information? What good will the protests accross the world do? What is going to happen?"
Y: "I don't know."
Y: "We are the ones who are trying to make a difference! What does it mean that all I can think of is going up to one of the Israelis or Americans or reporters and smacking them accross the face?! I mean seriously, we're the ones who can speak to all sides, but what can we do when no one is listening!?!"
T: "One of the hardest things for me in watching the news is that I know that my people in the States aren't seeing the same things I'm seeing. Somehow their image of the Middle East is so scewed that they don't see the injustice going on, they don't see how their tax-dollars and moral support is contributing to mass murder. Somehow they don't see Gaza suffering, they just see Israeli fear. Somehow they don't see Palestinians, they just see terrorists."
T: "I feel a hatred that I've kept bottled up inside of me for so long. What can I do when I hear that three children from one family were killed? I mean seriously, half of Gaza is under the age of 14 and it is the most densely populated land-masses in the world...when you bomb there, you end up bombing children. It's sick how it's being justified. But despite this, I don't believe in violence. I don't want this to be an anger rant from another Arab. I want to communicate that as frustrated as I am, I believe things can change. And those changes are not going to come by burning an American flag or an Israeli flag or by throwing rocks. Im frustrated at both sides. I understand that Hamas is angry and wants to retaliate but I just want to say: DO NOT call for suicide terror! I will not agree with that. No. At the same time, I can't preach peace when in my own heart there is so much hatred. I have to deal with that before I can influence other people. Non-violence needs to be something that you live and breath, and right now it's not something that I can live and breathe."
T: "There are so many things standing in our way. The obstacles are seemingly insurmountable. From disunity among both the Israeli and Palestinian non-violence movements, factionalism, the media, the US, Christian Zionism...AAAH. Where do we even begin?"
V: "I feel so powerless. I can't do anything about what's going on!"
T: "Yes you can, don't rob yourself of that. In a world that is rapidly spirling into darkness, hatred, and war, you can speak into that and show people how to love!"
Y: "Well, ok. I know that I can do some things, but I can't do the one thing I want to."
T: "What's that?"
Y: "Make the bombing stop."
T: "Yeah."
Y: (In response to my question: If you could communicate one thing to my American friends, what would it be?)"If I knew what it would take to stop the killing, I would beg Americans to do it. I would say write to your President, but that doesn't help. Do you call for a boycott? What do you boycott? You can tell people in the Middle East to boycott the American products...but what will that do??! You can write your your Senators but, again, what will that do?! If you could demonstrate, that would be great, but be careful and don't do it out of hate. Protest, demonstrate, DO something. But I'm not sure if anything will actually make a difference. I guess the most important thing I would tell you is to educate yourself, watch the news from different perspectives, and evalute it...imagine people in the statistics, imagine yourself there. I'm not going to tell you which side to go on but I want you to educate yourselves and make your own decision...and then DO something. The entire world is watching this and the entire world is frustrated but they can't make a difference. Africa's doing stuff, Asia is doing stuff, Russia is doing stuff (People are getting arrested in RUSSIA for us!)...but will any of it come to anything? I don't know. But again, I don't want to tell you what side to take. Just educate yourself. And care.
T: "It's not even about sides. I hate using that word because, well, I'm on people's side. No, actually, I'm on God's side. Whatever that means."
Most of the time I can't even articulate a question. The hole inside of my chest is so painful that all I can utter is a strangled cry of frustration. What else is there to say? When it's the end of the day and bombs are still falling, people are still crying, and the Palestinians in Gaza are still not living life the way it's meant to be lived, what else is there to say? How do we live into the answer when the questions are so blastedly painful?
I made tea with a friend this evening. She stood in the middle of her kitchen, closed her eyes, and spoke through clenched teeth: "I can't do anything." I responded, calmly, "pray." She ignored me and rationally, carefully, went through all of the reasons she is helpless, powerless, and, therefore, hopeless. I repeatedly uttered the calm refrain: "pray." This is a hard word. It seems heartless and can often betray apathy, condescension, dismissal, and a clear lack of action. But it can also be a freeing word because prayer (or rather, contemplation) frees us to live into the reality of the Kingdom of God. Surrendering to God the things of the world frees us to actually love the world instead of be enslaved by it. Accepting God's love allows us to be freed from the guilt of having failed to love as we ought to of and to be empowered to love with a love that is not our own. If I could speak one word into people's lives, especially during this time of darkness, I would say "pray."
"When we pay careful attention to the loving presence of God, the suffering to which we might be led will never darken our hearts or paralyze our movements... When we are led by love instead of driven by fear, we can enter the places of greatest darkness and pain and experience in a unique way the power of God's care. Jesus' final words to Peter are the strongest affirmation of this truth. After having asked Peter three times, 'Do you love me?' and after having been assured three times by Peter of his love, Jesus said, 'When you grow old you will stretch out your hands, and somebody else will put a belt around you and take you where you would rather not go' (John 21:18). Although Peter did not desire it, he was led to the cross as Jesus was. But because it was love and not fear that led him there, the cross was no longer a sign of defeat, but a sign of victory" (Nouwen, Compassion).
This passage speaks of a world we have entered into--a world of darkness--but it also provides us with something to say and something to do when words and actions betray their meangingless. When we can no longer do anything or say anything productive or useful, when we come to the end of ourselves, when we can do nothing but scream, nothing but clench our fist in hopeless despair...all we need to do is look up and whisper, "Yes, I love you." This is enough. Because there is a God who is bent tenderly over the broken world, gently, powerfully, loving it.
The world is shifting. And it's a hard thing to see God's love. Especially when we look at what's going on in places like Gaza (and the DRC, Sri Lanka, Pakistan, Iraq...etc.). But it's there. I promise. All you need to do is respond to it. Love God's people with the love He's given to you. Allow His freedom to free you from worldly things like "security," "vengence," "terrorism," and "fear." Read the news, watch the images, and pray for the people of Israel, the West Bank, and Gaza, who are in desperate need of people to rise up and care. Do what you can to stop the violence.
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